Pairing: Jongin/Sehun (SeKai)
Genre: Romance/Slice Of Life (High School!AU)
Written for this prompt at the exopromptmeme J
“Hey, Jongin. What do you think will happen to us when we go to high school? Do you think we’ll make new friends?”
“Nothing’s going to happen to us Sehun, because nothing is going to change.”
“But a lot of things are going to change because it’s going to be a new environment with new people and everything.”
“That doesn’t mean that we should let those changes affect our relationship.”
“Can you promise me that when we get older that we’ll always be best friends.”
“Of course, Sehunnie. I promise that I’ll never leave your side. I’ll always be there when you need me.”
I’ll always love you…Even if you may never love me back the way I want you to.
Jongin and Sehun were friends. More than just friends, best friends actually - from way before high school - when they met for the first time in elementary school - in the second grade to be exact.
His first impression of Oh Sehun was that he was a pale, lanky boy with a perpetually bored expression on his face. When Jongin first laid eyes on him, he never really thought much about him until he heard him speak for the first time and realized that he had such an adorable lisp and that he was kind of shy, but cute nonetheless. He then knew immediately that he wanted him to be his friend. Though he didn’t realize at the time that he had already fallen for him – in fact, he didn’t realize how much he really liked Sehun until a few years later during junior high when they were having one of their usual sleepovers, and Jongin noticed just how beautiful and serene
Now that they were finally in high school, the feelings had only intensified.
Not only that, but they had even traipsed into the realm of lust, as Jongin’s thoughts about Sehun went straight to the gutter whenever he fell asleep or even during the day when he noticed him licking his lips or parading around half-naked and sweaty after gym.
It did nothing to help him that Sehun had become so much more attractive and had filled out significantly from when he was a child. His shoulders became broader, his collar bones more prominent, his body still thin but toned in all the right places and he had become taller, almost taller than Jongin. He’d even become more fashionable, taking care to coordinate his outfits properly, ensuring that his skin stayed flawless and had recently dyed his hair a shade of honey-blonde that made him look damn near ethereal.
However, Sehun wasn’t the only one who puberty had been kind to over the years. Jongin was no pushover in the looks department either. Before, he was awkward and quiet, but now he had become more sociable and talkative – much more of a people person with a wider circle of friends. His voice had deepened considerably, to the point where he sounded almost sensual even when he was saying the most trivial things. His acne had finally cleared up and now his skin had a healthy tanned glow to it and his body had grown ripped from all those tireless hours of dancing. He kept his hair in a way that looked artfully tousled – which others deemed as his sex hair. His fashion sense may not have been anything to boast about, but it was his ability to look damn good in whatever the hell that he decided to wear that made him stand out.
When Jongin and Sehun first entered high school together, pretty much everyone thought that they were already dating because they were practically inseparable and looked oh so good together. Their looks complimenting each other’s in a way that only they could pull off.
They were the juniors that stood out above the rest. It was hard not to notice them. Already making a name for themselves before they even finished first year, because it was hard to not ogle two hot tall guys that were blessed with good looks, especially if those two guys were always together.
That all changed in their second year, when Sehun joined the student council and became friends with Lu Han and Kim Joonmyun, whilst Jongin joined the dance club and became tight with Lee Taemin and Zhang Yixing.
Sure, they were still best friends above everything else, but in a way they kind of drifted apart with their conflicting interests and priorities. Actually, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t their schedules that were the problem, it was the fact that Sehun would always make some excuse to either wander off to find Lu Han or find a way to integrate him into the time he was supposed to spend with Jongin.
Jongin was not pleased with this behaviour in the least.
He wanted nothing more than to spend some quality time ALONE with Sehun, not with Sehun and Lu Han being nauseatingly cute and playful. It made him lose his appetite and quite frankly, it annoyed the hell out of him more than anything. He’d rather eat somewhere else by himself than to watch his crush pine over someone else. There was only so much that he could tolerate before he got fed up.
Everyone knew that Lu Han had a thing for Sehun, and it was obvious that Sehun loved the attention.
Sehun and Lu Han. Lu Han and Sehun.
Now, wherever one was, you would always find the other.
Once upon a time, that used to be how Jongin and Sehun were, but not anymore - not since Lu Han came into both of their lives and became everything that Jongin wished he could be, and had everything that he wanted.
Lu Han, a Chinese transfer student, was one of the most popular seniors at SM High and also the president of the student council. His grades were excellent and his personality was a ray of sunshine. He was kind, he was caring and he was nice to everyone that he met. He was talented at both singing and dancing, plus he had such a handsome baby face and a dazzling smile that attracted both males and females. No one ever had anything negative to say about him because honestly, he was the senior that everyone loved.
In short, he was perfect – everything that you could possibly want in a guy and more.
Except that Jongin hated him and everything about him.
Okay, maybe Jongin didn’t hate-hate him per say. It was really hard to hate someone who was so damn likeable and was always helpful towards him. However, he did envy him a whole lot because he had the one person’s attention and affection that he was dying to have and that was Oh Sehun’s.
Lu Han was his rival in love - the prize being Sehun’s heart and soul.
Unfortunately, Jongin was definitely having one of those ‘fuck-my-life’ moments right about now, because just when he finally musters up the courage to confess his
It doesn’t even stop there; Lu Han goes as far as to ask Sehun to be his boyfriend.
Sehun is a flustered and stuttering mess trying to grasp for the right words to respond as Lu Han peers at him with hopeful eyes and a nervous smile and all this makes Jongin feel sick to his stomach. He doesn’t want to wait around hear the answer - he’s not sure that his heart can take it if Sehun actually agreed. His heart is already breaking just by glancing at the scene. So he does one of the things that he does best; he turns on his heel and runs off.
Today was obviously not his day, and Oh Sehun was obviously not going to be his.
Honestly, he just wanted to throw himself against the nearest wall and punch at it until his knuckles bled or run to the roof and scream at the top of his lungs. He just needed some way to vent out his feelings and frustrations.
How was he supposed to even compete with someone like that? Jongin had absolutely nothing over Lu Han. Everything that Jongin could do, Lu Han could do and probably do better. Lu Han was literally the perfect guy, especially for someone like Sehun. No wonder Sehun had such a huge crush on him. Sehun probably wouldn’t even give Jongin the time of day if they never knew each other and weren’t basically attached by the hip.
All Jongin could ask himself was – Why?
Why now? Why did he have to choose now of all times to confess? Was his timing that bad? Was he just that unlucky? Or was it just not meant to be?
He wanted to rip his hair – and his heart – out in frustration.
It was probably his fault that he lost his chance because he was being such a pussy about approaching Sehun. He had all that time to confess – all those months, all those years - but he always put it off, waiting for the perfect moment that never really came. There was no such thing as the perfect moment. It was all just an excuse to make himself feel better about confessing. There was no one else to blame but himself, and that revelation was what had hurt the most. He had officially lost his chance.
There was no point in even bothering to confess any more at this rate. Even if he did confess, would Sehun have accepted his feelings, much less reciprocated them? He probably would have rejected him and turned him away. If anything, it would make everything between them awkward. He would rather not have Sehun as a lover than to not have him as a best friend.
Maybe, he was better off just burying his feelings and forgetting that any of this even happened. It was best to leave their relationship just the way it was. Why change something that was already fine the way it was? It broke Jongin’s heart to think that one day they could never be something more than just friends.
So when Lu Han finally got the guts to confess to Sehun, it was pretty much expected that Sehun would accept his confessions and that they would date and live happily ever after.
Therefore, there was no room for Jongin in that equation. So he did what he thought was the best for both of them and kept his distance. More so for himself, than for Sehun. He needed the space and the time to get over his heartbreak at the thought of losing Sehun to Lu Han. He didn’t need the constant reminder of how happy they were together and how everyone thought they were the perfect couple and oh so fucking cute together.
He’d rather wallow in his misery and dance until he could barely even think straight – which is exactly what he did.
For the following days after the confession, Jongin avoided Sehun like the plague. He ignored all his calls, texts, emails or whatever Sehun used to try and contact him.
For those unfortunate instances where he couldn’t avoid Sehun, he would brush him off with the cold shoulder and make up some lame excuse then hurry off so that he wouldn’t have to spend any more time than necessary with him. Being around him at all hurt way too much, and he just couldn’t deal with what remained of their friendship yet.
Jongin knew he was being a coward, but he really didn’t know how to deal with a situation like this. He had never liked someone as much as he’d liked Sehun before, so he had no idea how to deal with that kind of heartbreak. He needed more time to think it through, and the longer he prolonged it, the more time he had to sort out how he would come to grips with the inevitable.
But in the back of his mind, he highly doubted that would be enough.
“Oh Sehun, I-I’ve really liked you for a long time and um, I was wondering i-if you would be my uh…My boyfriend?”
Lu Han stuttered shyly, the last part of his confession coming out as a whisper, but Sehun heard him loud and clear.
Sehun was downright flabbergasted. Sure, he was used to receiving confessions and gifts of affections from time to time from his various admirers – be it male or female - but not from one of the guys that he considered to be his favourite hyung and his role-model. He adored him really, but he wasn’t exactly sure what his feelings for him were.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to respond right away, I can wait.” Replied Lu Han with a reassuring smile and some of the girls nearby swooned at how patient and gentlemanly he was being. But that did nothing to calm Sehun’s heart. He was literally frozen in shock.
Lu Han drew closer to him, just close enough for him to be able to wrap his arms around his waist and whisper lowly in his ear, “Just don’t make me wait too long. I’m not sure if my heart could take it.”
All he could manage to do was nod weakly, and Lu Han pecked him on the forehead before he winked at him and walked off. The girls continued to coo at him about how lucky he was to have someone like Lu Han and how cute of a couple they would be, but Sehun was having completely conflicting thoughts.
Lu Han may have had a crush on Sehun, but Sehun did not have a crush on Lu Han. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Lu Han, because he did - he really liked him actually. He may even grow to like him in a more romantic way eventually, but right now his heart already belonged to one person, and that person alone.
If only Kim Jongin knew how much he really liked him, that is. Would Sehun ever really get the chance to tell him before it was too late?
These days, he barely saw hide or hair of Jongin and that was something that saddened him greatly. Jongin was his closest friend, and someone that he could say that he trusted more than anyone else in the world because they had been through thick and thin together.
Nowadays, he got the feeling that Jongin didn’t want anything to do with him. He was pretty damn sure that he was avoiding him. However, every time that he asked him about it he would just brush it off or say he was really busy lately.
How on earth was Sehun supposed to be upfront about his feelings if the object of his affections wouldn’t even give him the time of day?
So naturally, he ended up spending more of his time with Lu Han – which was a bit awkward at the moment to say the least. Lu Han did indeed confess to him and he had yet to respond to his confession. Seeing Lu Han gazing at him with hope in his eyes made him feel so guilty. He felt like he was leading him on.
It hadn’t been on purpose, but Sehun had never really intended to get that close to Lu Han. They were in the student council together and so they spent a lot of time together, and Sehun did genuinely enjoy their friendship. Lu Han was fun to be around and such an awesome hyung that he didn’t mind hanging around him so much. He just wished that Jongin would have warmed up to him the same way that he had.
That didn’t matter anymore now because Jongin wouldn’t even look at him and Lu Han wouldn’t stop looking at him. He really needed a sign to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do right now.
Probably he deserved this because he had been neglecting Jongin for Lu Han lately, and so when Jongin flat out ignored him, he couldn’t even find the nerve to be mad. Maybe Jongin was jealous of his and Lu Han’s friendship, but if he was jealous, why didn’t he just say something instead of avoiding Sehun?
Jongin shouldn’t need to feel jealous because he’s the only one on Sehun’s mind, but he probably wouldn’t believe him even if he tried. Especially since Lu Han has basically monopolized all of his time and attention. And to top it all off, that confession that loomed over his head like storm clouds in the sky, was not doing anything to make it seem like Lu Han and Sehun were just friends.
Ok, well…More like Sehun was just friends with Lu Han. Lu Han obviously liked him enough to confess. And Jongin, Jongin liked Sehun as a friend - that Sehun was definitely sure of. Sehun was also sure that Jongin had absolutely no idea that he liked him as more than a friend.
As best friends, they were supposed to share everything with each other. There shouldn’t be any secrets between them. This distance between them now was killing him. He couldn’t stand the fact that Jongin would rather do something else than spend time with him. He needed to know why. Was there something wrong with him or had they drifted apart so much that maybe things will never be the same as they used to?
He didn’t want them to not be friends any more. He’d rather have Jongin in his life, than not have him there at all. Their friendship came above everything else – even his own romantic feelings. He needed to do something about this now.
But first, he had to deal with Lu Han.
All he knew for sure was that this was not going to be easy at all.
Yup, fuck his life.
Why did he have to be so unfortunate?
Jongin was becoming a bit more quick-tempered as of late. He barely slept and every little thing began to irritate him. Then again, that was his own doing. The situation with Sehun was grating on his every nerve and worsening his whole disposition and he had no idea what to do about it.
He had thought that by avoiding Sehun, that maybe he could sort out his own feelings and get over his misery. That obviously wasn’t happening, because as much as he avoided Sehun, the smallest thing would remind Jongin of him and then he’d be back to square one of cursing his existence and wondering why he had to fall in love with his best friend of all the people in the world.
What pissed him off even more was that now, because he refused to be anywhere near Sehun, that left him even more available to Lu Han. It was at the point where Jongin stopped going to the cafeteria so he wouldn’t have to see them sitting together giggling over their food and sneaking bites from the other’s lunch.
Yes, Jongin was jealous. He was so jealous that he was downright furious.
He even took to hanging out in the library to study or dance in whatever free time he had, just so he had something to do and a reason to not be near Sehun.
He literally felt sick to his stomach, and honestly, he didn’t even have much of an appetite as a result of it. Thankfully, his friends Taemin, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Yixing noticed his sour moods and did everything in their power to cheer him up, even going out of their way to get him to laugh and for that he was grateful.
Really, what would he do without these guys in his life?
He’s in a significantly better mood by the end of the day and is giving it his all at dance practice. Actually, he is enjoying himself. His body is on fire and he’s sweating so hard that his clothes are soaked and his bangs are sticking to his forehead, but he could care less because dancing is the one thing that makes him feel alive. Dancing makes him unwind and takes his thoughts off of all his worries and frustrations.
Dancing is pretty much the only thing keeping his mind off of Sehun right now.
He wants to dance until he can’t move any more. He needs to do something - just anything to keep his mind occupied and to ease the pain in his heart.
Dancing is the only thing he can do that’s right. It’s the only thing that he knows how to do.
“Lu Han-hyung, I’m sorry but I-I can’t return your feelings.”
“Oh, I see. T-that’s okay, I guess. I probably made things awkward between us didn’t I?”
Gathering the courage to turn down Lu Han was one thing that he never wants to experience ever again. Not just because it was so heartbreaking to see the crestfallen expression on his hyung’s face, but because it made him realize just how much of a coward he was being all this time.
Rejections were always painful, and he couldn’t imagine what Lu Han was feeling right now - much less if he had confessed to Jongin and was turned down by him as well.
Would he be able to deal with the prospect of rejection?
Lu Han looked as if he was close to tears, but he had accepted the rejection as best as he could, still managing to give Sehun a small – albeit sad – smile in the end. It wasn’t enough to reassure Sehun however, because he still felt terrible. Sehun could only hang his head and apologize once more. He couldn’t even bring himself to look his hyung in the eyes.
Was it possible for Lu Han and Sehun to still be able to be friends, or was that asking for too much? Maybe Sehun was being selfish. How could he still be friends with the same person whose heart he just broke? This encounter was doing nothing to help brighten his demeanour, and the worst part was that he had yet to face Jongin.
Lu Han didn’t want to kick Sehun out of his life, but it was obvious that he needed space. Sehun couldn’t blame him for that. He’d probably be in a similar state if that happened to him, but it was for the best.
That was one heartbreak down, another one to go. He needed to get this over with. He refused to stay in the dark any longer. He almost lost one hyung and he might just lose another.
It was time to face Jongin.
When he finishes practice, Jongin feels a pleasant buzz in his system. He loves the adrenaline rush he gets when it’s over. He does not love all the pain that he’s going to be in tomorrow after he showers and gets some rest. However, he’d rather not think about that now. One step at a time, that’s what he needs to focus on right now.
He’s humming the beat of one of the songs that he’s practicing and running over some last minute choreo in his head and is completely unaware of his surroundings until he hears the voice that sends a shiver down his spine and makes him freeze in his tracks.
“Jongin,” comes the soft voice of the last person he wants to see right now, even if it is the same person that he would give his life for in a heartbeat – Oh Sehun.
“Can we talk?” he asks quietly, his voice low but firm and his gaze silently pleading.
Jongin really did not want to deal with this confrontation right now. He still needed time to heal but looking at Sehun before him so sad and vulnerable was clawing away at his defences. Damn, Sehun had a way of making him feel so guilty without even trying.
“What do you want?” he rasps out, choosing to focus his eyes on a spot in the distance, just to avoid looking at him directly.
“I feel like we’re not close anymore and that you’d rather be anywhere else but with me.” Sehun mumbles, “Do you hate me now or something?”
Jongin winces at the question. It was so far away from the truth. Jongin could never hate Sehun. He liked him way too much to even think about hating him. But now he felt really guilty because he hasn’t been a much of a good best friend to Sehun and he’s been pushing him away just because he can’t even deal with his own feelings.
“Don’t say something ridiculous like that. I don’t hate you.” He mutters, feeling the guilt leave a bad taste in his mouth and wincing at how harsh his tone sounds.
“Then what is it?! Every time that I try to talk to you or even come near you, you either make some excuse or flat out ignore me.” Sehun’s eyebrows are drawn together and his tone is getting frantic.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Jongin replies with a shrug, even though he’s well aware of what happening.
“Did I do something wrong?” the younger ask, his voice quiet and almost melancholic.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong!” he replies quickly, trying to dispel Sehun’s darkening mood, but that backfires.
“Then just what the hell is your problem?!” Sehun snaps at him, his fists balling at his sides.
“I don’t have a problem!” Jongin barks back at him.
“Yes, you do! Why won’t you tell me?!” Sehun sounds almost desperate now.
“I can’t tell you!” the older yells, almost pleading. He doesn’t want to do this now.
“Of course you can tell me! Aren’t we supposed to be best friends?” Sehun screams at him, his eyes almost tearing up but he’s determined to stay strong. He needs to find out what’s going on now or never.
“That is exactly why I’m having this problem in the first place!” he all but growls at him and waves his hands in frustration.
Sehun is speechless, to say the least and Jongin can’t believe he said that out loud.
Their gazes are locked on each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking. Their quarrel comes to an end once they snap out of their daze and acknowledge that they’ve gathered quite an audience. Jongin realizes that this really isn’t the time nor place to do this. This was a conversation that he and Sehun needed to have in private, even though he’d rather not have this conversation at all.
He’s been such a wuss all this time by avoiding his problems and prolonging the inevitable, but not anymore. He had to man up sooner or later, and whilst he would prefer for it to be later, there was no way in hell he could do that now. It was time to end this, whatever this was. He really didn’t know how much more of it he could take. Plus, he had to be fair to Sehun as well. He really didn’t deserve any of the cold treatment that Jongin had been giving him lately.
Acting quickly, Jongin reaches out to grab Sehun’s hand and drags him off, pulling him along the corridors to find a more secluded area and ends up bringing him to one of the private locker rooms in the school.
He ushers him into the room and promptly locks the door behind them. Now, they were finally alone and that revelation alone was enough to make the atmosphere between them tense. It was the first time that they had been together for more than five minutes, ever since the day that Lu Han confessed to Sehun.
They were each staring down the other, waiting for someone to make the first move. However, the longer they waited, the more awkward it began. Not being able to stand looking at Jongin any longer, Sehun averts his gaze and shuffles his feet. However, Jongin still has his eyes trained on him, and it’s making him feel uncomfortable.
Sehun is then licking his lips - one of those nervous habits that he has that he hates, but it’s the one that Jongin secretly loves - and Jongin’s eyes zero in on the action immediately, unbeknownst to him. Sehun’s pink pouty are now glistening with a thin layer of spit and all Jongin can think about is what it would be like to have those lips pressed against his own. He wonders what they would taste like, or if they’re as soft as they look. Then, he has the sudden urge to nibble on his lips and see what kind of noises he could coax from Sehun’s mouth.
It’s like his body moves of his own accord, because before Jongin even realizes what he’s doing, he has grabbed Sehun by the waist, pushed him against the nearest locker and planted his mouth firmly against the other’s. He channelled all his pent up feelings and frustrations in that one kiss, but he was so caught up in his actions that he didn’t realize one important fact – that Sehun was not responding.
That alone was enough for Jongin to come to grips with the fact that he may have just overstepped his boundaries and ruined their friendship. He had just kissed Sehun, there was no way that they could ever go back to being just friends after this.
He would never regret finally kissing him, but he would regret if they became awkward with each other as a result.
Glancing at Sehun’s expression, Jongin turned away from him and muttered a quick apology as he made his leave. Really, he had such a bad habit of messing things up between them. Just what was wrong with him? Sehun was probably disgusted with him. He was better off leaving him be and asking him to forget that any of this ever happened - that’s if and when Sehun finally got over his shock and decided to talk to Jongin again.
Sehun, on the other hand, may have been frozen from shock, but not out of disgust. He was literally overwhelmed, and he’d be damned if he let Jongin walk away from him right now after kissing him. They weren’t done here yet. His crush finally gathered the courage to kiss him. There was no way in hell that he wouldn’t come clean about his feelings either. That kiss meant something, Sehun was sure of it and he was pretty sure that he wanted to kiss Jongin again. He would not let this opportunity pass him by.
Acting as fast as he could, Sehun reached out to grab Jongin’s hand and pulled him right back towards him so that they were face to face. Then Sehun brought his hands up to cradle Jongin’s face gently and carefully pressed his smaller lips against Jongin’s fuller plump ones.
That was all the initiative Jongin needed to wrap his arms around Sehun’s smaller frame and return the kiss in full - prying the younger’s lips apart with his tongue and familiarizing himself with the moist cavern of his mouth, which earned him a groan of approval. Soon, Sehun’s tongue is tangling with his own, slow and cautious at first but then insistent and demanding. Their kiss turns heated, and it feels as if they’re pouring everything they have into it.
When they pull away minutes later, panting and gasping for air, there’s a shy smile on both of their flushed faces. Jongin presses their foreheads together and intertwines their fingers loosely. Sehun nuzzles his nose against his closes his eyes, just wanting to revel in the moment and listen to the sound of Jongin breathing.
As endearing as this moment is, Jongin knows that there is one thing that he has been dying to get off his chest. They may have kissed, but what exactly does that mean for them and their relationship?
“So…Does this mean that you like me more than Lu Han?” Jongin murmurs, his voice still husky but his tone hopeful.
Sehun blinks in confusion and pulls away to look at him carefully, but then ends up laughing at Jongin’s earnest expression. Jongin furrows his eyebrows and wonders just what was so hilarious about his question, until Sehun plants another kiss on his lips and straightens his face until he’s looking right at Jongin with a serious expression.
“Lu Han doesn’t even compare to you because, I’ve been in love with you since forever.” Sehun tells him, his voice steady and his eyes shining with determination.
“Really?” Jongin asks dumbly, gaping at Sehun but ecstatic nonetheless. The smile that breaks out on Jongin’s face is contagious.
“Yes, really.” Sehun smiles at him brightly, his eyes crinkling into crescents and Jongin thinks that he’s never been more adorable and beautiful than he is now. His cheeks are still flushed, his eyes dark and he’s licking his lips again - which are now plump and rosy - and damn…Jongin really wants to kiss him again until his lips are red and swollen and he’s out of breath.
Jongin winds his arms around Sehun’s slender waist and his grin widens. Bringing his face closer to Sehun, he whispers against his lips, “I love you too, Oh Sehun.”
So uh…This is officially my first EXO fanfic and also my first fanfic in over a year, so if I’m a bit rusty then I apologize XD
I hope this is good enough for you my dear anon ^_^
Let me know your thoughts =]